Breaking the cycle of workplace bullying and harassment
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Breaking the cycle of workplace bullying and harassment
It’s no secret that bullying and harassment is widespread and exists everywhere around the world. The media is full of stories highlighting the insidious and destructive path that bullying has cut as it weaves its way through people’s lives and all levels of society. It’s a major risk factor for anxiety and depression, suicidal behaviour, various physical ill health conditions, and relationship breakdowns.[1]
Workplaces are rife with this type of behaviour with workers either experiencing or witnessing bullying and harassment on a near daily basis despite substantial policy and legislation in place outlawing such behaviour. Adding to the toxicity of the problem is that the bullying and harassment doesn’t stop when the workday ends as now cyberbullying is especially rampant with seemingly little recourse for those on the experiencing end.
It’s a costly stream of behaviour as the following Australian statistics show:
- 60% of workers experience bullying in their careers
- Managers spend 37% of their day dealing with bullying behaviours
- 39% of mental disorder workplace claims stem from harassment, bullying or exposure to occupational and workplace violence
- The cost to the economy is estimated to be up to $36B annually due to absenteeism, staff turnover, health related costs, lost productivity and time spent by organisations/businesses in dealing with claims etc.[2]
We tend to think of bullying and harassment as something that runs from the top down to the employee – and there is certainly a lot of abuse that happens through that channel. However, something that may surprise many readers is that the majority of bullying that people experience comes through fellow colleagues, and not via management.[3] Furthermore, bullying can just as easily go up the line with managers being the ones experiencing the bullying from their staff, but they are expected to swallow the behaviour without complaint as it is deemed to be part and parcel of their job. Even those at the top of the chain can find themselves at the mercy of bullying, whether that be through the media, colleagues or shareholders.
"A true measure of a civilisation is its natural vitality. Look around us and you will, in an instant, know that we are not civilised."
Neil Gamble Teachings & Revelations Volume 4, ed I, p 477
Clearly no one escapes as we are all impacted through one means or another. Sometimes we feel the energy as a direct force and at other times we are impacted through a more general means, and we don’t even realise what is in the background, feeding the whole bullying and harassment consciousness.
Competition is championed in the workplace. It is seen as something that fosters creativity and innovation as people search for ways to gain the leading edge over others. The prizes on offer are lucrative with recognition, identification, power, status, financial reward and promotion all up for grabs. Someone ‘wins’ which means that others have to ‘lose’ – and no one wants to be the loser. It usually feels personal which leads people to react by trying to gain the advantage over peers in one way or another so that they come out on top. With such powerful incentives it’s inevitable that comparison and jealousy will also run riot, so there is a perpetual state of tension as people remain on alert, scanning what colleagues are doing and saying in case they are going to get caught out in some way.
People also feel entitled to go along in their job just the way they have envisaged it in their mind, so when someone else comes along and triggers them in some way, it’s felt as a threat. The reaction kicks in and the bullying and harassment begins as a way of dealing with the tension. Often it starts with a look, a snide comment, a joke at the other person’s expense. The person on the receiving end feels it, but usually initially tries to ignore the behaviour in the hope that it will be a ‘one off’ type of occurrence. We don’t want to ‘create a scene’ by supposedly making a mountain out of a mole hill. But we know deep inside ourselves and through historical events that that is not how it works and if the behaviour is not outed and named for what it is, it will continue in one form or another and likely intensify as time goes by.
What is as bad, if not worse than the behaviour itself, is that often others have witnessed what is happening and not spoken up. These bystanders want to avoid becoming a target themselves so turn a blind eye or side with the bully/bullies because it seems the safest and easiest way out, or perhaps because it will be to their advantage in some other way if the person being bullied is shut down. It may be a case of ‘it’s not my problem, so why should I get involved’, or alternately, they condone what is happening by laughing at the inappropriate remarks/jokes and general put downs etc. Deep down, we know that everything about this setup is wrong and that enabling what is happening serves no one in the long run. So, despite all the good intentions and anti-bullying and harassment workplace programs and legislation, our irresponsibility allows it to continue unabated.
"No see - no act.
Serge Benhayon Teachings & Revelations Volume 4, ed I, p 386
The more we open our eyes to what is really taking place in our community,
the more we will move to prevent it by simply not supporting it."
Are we ready to take responsibility for our part in what has been occurring – or do we feel entitled to continue to protect our position in the workplace?
It’s true that systemic bullying and harassment is beyond the power of one person to stop on their own, but every step we take helps to chip away at the culture of individualism, greed and corruption that condones bullying and harassment. When we are prepared to allow any form of abuse to occur, either directly through us or by being an accomplice, it is inevitable that there will be a ripple effect starting within our bodies and spreading to all our relationships and interactions, both within and outside of work. The quality of everything we do is impacted, so even the products we buy in the supermarket carry the energetic imprints of every worker involved all along the supply chain. If there has been love and care, it will be felt and likewise, if there has been disregard and abuse anywhere along the way, the quality of the product or service will be lessened. It may only be a subtle difference, but nonetheless, it will be there.
"Every task, assignment, vocation, profession, business etc. requires no less propensity than our complete duty to represent what will serve all equally."
Serge Benhayon Teachings & Revelations Volume 4, ed I, p 456
Addressing the problem may seem like being asked to climb Mt Everest, however developing a more caring relationship with ourselves offers a starting point because the more deeply we care for ourselves, the less willing we are to accept abuse either within or towards ourselves and others. Our threshold for what is acceptable behaviour shifts.
Perhaps work-related self-care means that, rather than being ‘on call’ 24 hours per day (unless that is specifically part of the job description), we have a cut-off time each day for attending to work related phone calls and emails so that we can prepare ourselves for a quality sleep at night. Or it may be that we learn to delegate work rather than feeling like we have to do it all ourselves. We can ensure we have a nutritious lunch and or that we hydrate ourselves with water rather than reaching for caffeinated drinks during the day. Taking a break and going for a short walk is another way to maintain or restore the balance between mind and body.
These suggestions are all types of activities that help us learn to love, care for and value ourselves more deeply with a flow on effect on those around us and the quality of our work. The level of attention we afford ourselves is noted and felt by others, even when nothing is said. It’s not a weak, pathetic energy; in fact, it’s the opposite which some will appreciate and feel inspired by, while others may go into reaction because you are no longer prepared to entertain behaviours, they are not yet ready to relinquish. But the more consistent we become (without perfection), the less bullying energy can penetrate and the stronger we will feel to call out any inappropriate, direct or indirect, behaviours.
We have a long way to go to arrest the cycle of bullying tactics that so many willingly engage in, but it’s time to jump off the treadmill. Even one person being prepared to take a deeper level of care for themselves brings in a different energy to the workplace. There are many who view competition, winning, gaining the upper hand over others as being worth the price we, as a society, pay. But it’s a big price and bullying and harassment behaviours are becoming more violent by the day with a corresponding decline in worldwide physical and mental health and wellbeing as a result.
No amount of legislation and governance will change things if we are not prepared to acknowledge the extent of the problem and commit to taking personal responsibility for the way we live our lives, including stepping up and calling out bullying and harassment for the cowardly act that it is. Only then can we start to have workplaces where people feel safe and supported to bring their strengths out into the open with no apologies and the real groupwork can truly begin.
"Every day we make reality. It is not the other way around,
Serge Benhayon Teachings & Revelations Volume 4, ed I, p 432
that is, we do not live each day in reality."
References:
Filed under
Abuse, Accountability, Bullying, Mental health, Work stress
