Tiptoeing around the truth
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Tiptoeing around the truth
Over the many years of my life, I would have been in close proximity to thousands of young children, children of all shapes, sizes, all with different ways of moving through their lives, but I have only ever seen a few who insisted on walking on their tiptoes. But what I did notice immediately about these children, was that there was no way that they could be cajoled into placing their feet down onto the ground and keeping them there. It was as if there was something on or in the ground that they did not want to feel, something so tangible that they would resort to walking in a way that seemed to be so challenging and at the same time, possibly harming to their little, and developing bodies. Their absoluteness always fascinated me, leaving me wondering why.
As I did not know these children personally, I did not go on to see what happened next. Did they go on to be an adult who walked on their tiptoes? How did their parents manage a child who was obviously standing out from the crowd, so to speak, by standing and walking in a way that was at odds with everyone else? I wonder if they felt embarrassed by their child’s ‘weird’ way of walking, and so they tried everything to get them to walk ‘normally,’ maybe even forcing them at every given opportunity to put their feet down on the ground, punishing them if they did not comply. Did the children around them make fun of them or did they simply accept the way they were, like young children often do, until their natural acceptance is corrupted by the adults around them?
All these questions were simply that, often unanswered, but regularly pondered upon. But amongst them, is the big question – did the parents ever stop and ask the questions: “Why is this happening?” Is there something wrong with my child or are they just being naughty?” There is no doubt they would have questioned what was happening, physically and medically, seeking practical answers and quick fix solutions. But how about asking why on an energetic level? After all, everything in the world we live in is energy, and as children, we are all born with a deep sense of knowing beyond what is tangible, being able to feel more than what we can see, hear and touch from the moment we take our first breath. This sense – our clairsentience – is an innate part of us, all of us, but as we grow, the machinations of life and the living way of those around us are not set up to support its holding and nurturing. Instead, in most cases, life is set up to knock this innate sense out of us, as it did to our parents, before us …
The child who speaks the truth of what they are feeling, a truth that often does not sit well with the adults around them, is therefore told to shut up, to stop telling lies, and or told they don’t know what they are talking about as they are only a child. The dismissing of a child’s natural reading of what is going on around them continues until, in most cases, they finally submit to the belief that what they feel must not be true and in doing so, disconnect from the truth they know in every particle of their being.
We have all been this child.
So, what could possibly be moving a child to walk in a way that society decrees is abnormal? What could possibly be in the ground that they are not wanting to feel? Of course, they may not have the words to express what they are feeling, especially when very young. But if they are able to put into words why they are walking this way, that there is something in or on the ground they don’t want to feel, would they be listened to, would their honesty be honoured, or would they be told that they are just imagining it?
As an adult, who has lived for many cycles around the sun, I can say from my lived experience, that the ground below our feet holds much more than simply dirt, rocks etc., that it also holds the energy of all that has been walked upon it by humanity; the endless rush of life, the stomping vibration of anger, the heaviness of sadness, the insatiability of greed, the desperation of hope, all emotion-fuelled energies that are imprinted into the ground as we walk, wherever we walk. But it can also hold the joy, the love and the harmony that we are all naturally born with and can always bring that to our lives and the lives of others through our movements.
“The only holy land is the one that is walked upon by a Son of God who is in joy, harmony, and in the livingness of the Stillness. Such feet belong to the one who is in true harmlessness and thus, such feet will grace the land he and she walk upon. Land is graced by our energetic state of being. It is not something that is mindfully derived at and thus deemed, simply because one says so. It has to be lived in pure grace for it to be graceful or so-called Holy. The Divine light in and through us blesses the ground we live and walk upon. This occurs when the living light is known from the living impulse of the inner-heart.”
Serge Benhayon The Way It Is, ed 2, p 201
When we live knowing that everything is energy, we cannot deny that as we move through our lives, we leave a trail of energetic imprints behind us for the next person to walk on, who will also add to the trail all that they are moving with, and so the imprints continuously deepen.
We could say that we do not know that this is what we are doing, but deep within us the knowing of the energy we felt in and all around us as a young child, remains. We have simply buried it, and with it our responsibility as to how we move through this life, for everything we say and do leaves an imprint that will be either harming or healing. Yes, we have an ongoing energetic responsibility as to how we move through this world.
As a child, I was very aware at times of what was under my feet. I can remember so very clearly there were places where I felt that my legs were filled with lead and were so heavy that I had to drag them to get them to move. I could feel different energies – not that I called them that back then – in different places and there were some parks, houses and buildings and even some people I did not like visiting. The local museum was one of those places I absolutely hated going into, as not only would my feet feel like lead, but I would feel so tired in some sections that I simply wanted to lay down on the floor and sleep. This was never shared with anyone as I knew that I would be told I was imagining it, so to myself it was kept, with the associated feeling that there was something wrong with me being held on to until many years later when the truth of energy was revealed to me.
With this revelation, I realised that I was simply feeling all the energy that was held in so many of the exhibits, energy that stayed stuck in place, affecting all who moved past or stopped to look for a moment. But most would have not even registered that this was happening. Art galleries were exactly the same, which makes sense, as in many paintings so much emotion would pour from every brushstroke laid across the canvas in the effort of trying to get it right, or as long held emotions were used as artistic fuel. And then there were the people who I did not want to be around, as to me as a child, they felt creepy, as did their homes. But I would be forced to go, forced to be nice, while my young body would be recoiling from what I was feeling.
Energy anyone?
So, when I would see a child up on their tiptoes, I could actually understand why they were so averse to placing their feet on the ground, whether all the time or every now and then. And now that comes with the answer, the why, with the expansion of the truth that everything is energy, to; “everything is energy, therefore everything is because of energy” (Serge Benhayon) … and with the presentation of that truth came the absolute knowing that I was not imagining any of those feelings.
What I felt under my feet was real! I may not have, like the children I had witnessed, reverted to walking on my tiptoes to avoid feeling what I was sensing, but when I sat, I would sit with my feet off the ground, resting them on the tips of my toes, as if what was under my feet was too much to feel when I was at rest. It was as if I was always prepared to run, and this pattern stayed with me well into my adult years until I realised there was much I did not want to feel and much I wanted to run away from. These days, my feet rest firmly on the ground when I sit and when I walk, all the while acknowledging everything I can feel.
“To walk, live, breathe and imprint human life
Serge Benhayon Teachings & Revelations, Volume V, ed 1, p 171
with the ultimate form of regard is to be
in The Livingness of your Soul’s delicacy.”
After not seeing a child who walked on tiptoes for many years, about seven years ago I became aware of a little boy who was doing just that. As we live a great distance from each other, I only see him very briefly every now and then, and each time it has been obvious that there is no way he is going to place his feet on the ground. I would hear reports from a mutual friend about his progress – or lack of – even though so much was being done medically to correct this seemingly incorrect way of moving through life.
To observe this movement, which is classed as abnormal, it was instantly obvious to me from my childhood experiences that there was something within him that did not want to feel what was coming up from the ground and through his feet, if he, even for a moment, put them down. So, he doesn’t, and no one can convince him otherwise. As far as he is concerned, there is nothing wrong with the way he walks; it simply is the way that is true to him and when encouraged to do otherwise, it is obvious that he tunes out the noise of the words of encouragement. He has had the prescribed treatments of special boots and casts, but when the procedure of each, some of which took place over several months, was complete, back up onto his toes he went. As far as he was concerned, nothing had changed, whereas his parents were disappointed as they naturally had had expectations that his way of walking would return to what is accepted as normal.
It is often challenging as parents to accept that your child is acting and moving through life in stark contrast to all other children, as all you want for them is to be normal, whatever that normal has been accepted to be. It is clear that we have accepted so many ways of being in the world as normal, without question, where in fact they may be anything but, with the actual truth of these lived ways being overridden simply because it is easier to accept the normal and live with that, than living with the change that truth often offers. This says so much about us as human beings.
As well as moving through life on his tiptoes, from the moment he could talk, this young man has always been very outspoken, obviously with no filters. Everything is deeply observed and commented on, often to the intense uncomfortableness of those around him as he shares the truth of what he sees and feels; his innate wisdom is palpable. He misses nothing, and nothing escapes the absoluteness of his observation. His parents live in constant tension when they are with others, of what he may say next, and that is impacting on their lives. But there is nothing in him, that if told to, could be nice, to pretend he is anything but what he is. He sees it, he feels it, he speaks it and at times gets reprimanded for it. Reprimanded for speaking the truth – something many of us will know so well – but rewarded for being nice, for pretending to like someone or something when we don’t. Oh, how disgusting it is that we have taught our children to lie from such an early age with those lies becoming the foundation of the life that they will continue to live. But to us, as adults, this is probably normal, as we were also taught to lie, to pretend to be everything we are not.
So, what is it about the sharing of the truth by others that so many of us recoil from, and in reaction lash out at the speaker, intent on making them feel that they are wrong simply because it is making us feel uncomfortable? What would happen if we stopped, listened, felt what was being presented and then opened ourselves up to the possibility that we are being offered the truth and with it another way to look at life?
With this willingness to accept the truth, we may finally realise the depth of the lies we have been living – and maybe that is why we don’t want to hear the truth, as then life will have to change, and us with it. We prefer to stay in our comfort zone, holding up a sign that says, “Don’t rock my boat!”
A few years ago, this young man was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and with that label of ASD now stuck – laminated – firmly on him, all those around him have a tangible reason for the ‘why and what’ questions they have been asking since he was young. I am sure there would have been a temporary sense of relief, but they are no closer to the truth of the 'why' that is now hidden behind the label, deliberately so. In fact, they are now further away, the label masking the true answer to the question of why.
I love being with this young man. I love his honesty, the way he views the world, the precise way he reads people and how he doesn’t hold back from speaking the truth as he sees it. So, the one day he pulled me up for interrupting a conversation he was having, there was no reaction in my body, but the acceptance of the truth he was offering me in that moment – yes, I had interrupted him. It was that simple. In that moment he was speaking the truth that the majority of humanity is too scared to speak, in case what comes at them is too hard to deal with. But there was no fear in him, as he knew what he shared was true – and so did I. There would be many though, who would have reacted and considered him to be rude, to be disrespectful. It is obvious that what comes at him for being the truth-teller does not faze him. He does not change his movements to accommodate anyone. There is nothing in him to hold back from what is there to be said.
From birth, every young child feels and knows the truth, but they soon learn that speaking and moving it is not always received very lovingly, so over time, they will more than likely, begin to shut down this innate knowing simply to fit in to what is the accepted normal. So how refreshing it is to be around a child who has held on to that knowing, who in fact does not know any other way to be. It is his absolute normal. And in this case, he is not only retaining his truth-filled expression but also continues to move in a way that rattles so many comfortable adult cages.
So why does this young man refuse to put his feet on the ground? I do not know the exact details of the answer, but what I do know is that, whether moving around this world on tiptoes, or with his feet on the ground, he has so much to offer all those around him if we are willing to see past the physical movements and his youthfulness, and to feel what it is he is offering us – a true way of expressing in a world where energetic responsibility and truth are an absolute anathema to most.
“If you choose to be truth-full, you will know that all happens as a result of energy.”
Serge Benhayon Esoteric Teachings & Revelations Volume I, ed 2, p 385
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