Confidence in social situations

I was pondering about why children and teenagers love to just ‘hang out’, ‘chill out’ and just generally get together with no particular purpose per se. It occurred to me that these were just modern day expressions of what is actually quite natural for us all…

To just simply ‘BE’
No agenda
No ‘to-do’ lists
Simply BEING and connecting with others, confidently without hesitation

Many children often amaze and inspire me because when they are content just being themselves they connect to people with such openness, ease, presence and playfulness. The innocence in their eyes and their body just melts any hardness that comes their way.

Children are so inspiring and we have much to learn from them, for when they are just left to simply be themselves, the sparkle in their eyes is bright, their natural confidence bursts forth and the expression is full and they know in their hearts what true love is and what it is not.

And then there is the preciousness of a baby that is so still and surrendered – a presence that has the power to melt me even more.

So what happens to us when we get older? What happens to that surrender? Where does that sparkle go? Do we forget how to just ‘hang out’ and ‘be’ with each other? We all were once a child with that sweet innocence and honest connection with ourselves.

As adults, how often do we truly connect to this? Yes, we catch up with friends and spend time with family, but are we truly allowing ourselves to ‘BE’ and connect with each other – heart to heart? Are our accumulated protections, hurts and mistrusts stopping us from truly meeting and connecting with each other?

We are taught from a young age that what we do is who we are and then spend the rest of our life defining ourselves and our worth based on our achievements and so called ‘success’. This is what keeps us in the doing! But what we do is not who we truly are in essence. Seeking achievements, goals, and recognition have become more important than true connection, as being ourselves is simply not fostered or valued – the outside focus completely blinds us to the beauty and joy that comes from within and from just being ourselves.

These are the questions I have been pondering on lately as I appreciate and observe the sweet innocence of a baby or child – an innocence that is naturally within us all, should we choose to re-connect to it.

The innocence and openness I re-connected to within myself recently felt so heavenly and natural; in the past this had felt very raw and ‘naked’ to me, which is why I would rarely allow myself to go there as an adult. But there was nothing ‘weak’ about being in my innocence, quite the opposite. The more I allowed myself to stay open to this, the more I could feel the power of my expression that came from this connection of deep presence, contentment and stillness.

I then took myself for a walk with my openness and innocence. My chest and heart felt so different – I felt so open to people and the world and my chest and heart felt like they were a metre in front of me. This was definitely new to me! I noticed people wanting to be around me more that day – I was a love magnet that was irresistible, so of course people wanted to hang out with me, and me with them!

I realised that what I was experiencing was what it would feel like to let people in, to let the world in, to not put up a guard to protect, to allow myself to be fully seen in my sweet natural innocence.

Gosh the world felt so different!